Taking Others Inventory
It is oft-heard and seemingly common AA knowledge that we are not to take each other’s inventory. Seemingly, the Big Book source of this ‘knowledge’ is derived from Step Four directions; indeed, the second full paragraph of page 67 states: “The inventory was ours, not the other man’s.” But hold the phone! Careful reading indicates that the context of this saw may not be applicable in such a general and all inclusive manner as stated above. This sentence actually concerns itself only with the resentment-solving tool of discovering where WE were at fault, thereby letting the object (person) of our anger off the hook, thus logically ending the resentment. After all, how foolish to blame a dire-deed on an innocent bystander when we, ourselves, set the ball rolling.
Of course it may be of benefit, or even necessary, to take another AAs inventory when choosing a sponsor or electing a secretary, treasurer, GSR, DCM or Area Delegate. We do this every time we vote. Concerning newcomers, Bill tells us on page 92, “If you are satisfied he is a real alcoholic, begin to dwell on the hopeless feature of the malady.” Also, on page 95, “. . . if he expects you to act as his banker . . . you may have to drop him.” And when greeting a newcomer it may be important to judge his or her religious or other strongly held convictions so as not to nip the conversation in the bud.
It is important for a sponsor to rightly judge a sponsee to best know how to take them through the initial 12-Step process. Some may be capable of simply following the clear-cut directions from our program of action, while others, perhaps illiterate, may require use of a tape recorder. Others may be mentally ill, and need yet another approach.
As for speaking at meetings, one must be careful not unduly insult attendees, so one might need judge – take inventory of – the audience to avoid saying something inappropriate, where at another meeting ones speech might be more open and relaxed.
The Big Book also tells of certain things of which we are not to be the judge, e.g., “We do not want to be the arbiter of anyone’s sex conduct” (p 69). I must be ever aware of continually fault-finding with my AA friends, inwardly or outwardly, because in so doing, I forget to take my own inventory, and I don’t do that, I am likely to wind up back on a bar stool.
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